Feelin' Lucky...

Boss man bought me a new 'Executive Chair'. Soft, plush black leather with white stitching. Stylish.

Hmmm...He either thinks I'm doing a great job and would like to reward my backside...
Or, he thinks I'm not spending enough time sitting on my a** takin' care of business!

Either way, I'm comfy as a cottontail in a cabbage patch. 

Was speaking with a woman today who is raising her granddaughter and having a hard time of it.

(Kudos to you, by the way.)

But then, she told me her granddaughter has ADHD,  ADD & ODD.

I say; "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with ODD. What is it?"

"Obedience, Defiance, Disorder. It's very serious, and there is no cure."

I smell BULLSHIT! What?

Lady, you mean you actually paid an f***ing co-pay to a Dr's Office to be fed that line of BS?

There is a cure:

Demand a refund from your stupid Dr (who probably got his degree online), buy yourself a bar of soap with the refund and wash your granddaughters mouth out with it!!!!!!! (It tends to work better than slapping the shit out of her, because kids are now 'empowered' and will call Child & Protective Services).

Rinse. Repeat if Necessary.

That'll cure anything you got wrong lady.

Hmmm...

The little, itty, bitty screw just fell out of my reading glasses hinge.

I'm so glad I have the screw.

But, I need to wear my ******* Reading Glasses to see afore mentioned screw, and screw it in!!!!!!!

Really life? You had to be harder today!

Love that the old folks home in town advertises "Free Rent For Life".

Dear Subway:

I am sorry for cheating on you.

But Jimmy's Sammy is more satisfying than yours.

And, they don't make me feel guilty for not choosing the sandwich with the least fat grams.

They love that I like their medium roast beef, full-fat mayo, tomatoes, lettuce & onions.

The guy even called me 'sweetie'.

Top that, Subway.

Enjoy your lunch!